Friday, February 29, 2008

Daddy'll hold your hand right up to the end

Well, it's freakin' Friday. Thank the jeebus for that. This has been one of those seemingly never-ending weeks. Hubby out of town again, which hasn't actually been as hard to deal with this week as it has in weeks past. I'm still hurting for sleep, but I think that is just something I've got to get used to. My little man was an absolute angel this week. My lack of sleep was actually, for the most part, NOT caused by him. He slept until at least 5 am every day, and you really can't complain about that.

I'm excited b/c tomorrow the whole fam is going to hang out with some current and old coworkers, and we're stayin' the night, so you know we're going to get our party on! Even lil' man is going, we'll see how the pack and play sleeping goes this time. Last time we did that was over Thanksgiving in Alexandria at the in-laws. He wasn't really sleeping consistently the night at that point anyway, and the unfamiliar surroundings and wacked out schedule didn't help ANYBODY sleep well during that trip. We took definite advantage (perhaps took for granted a bit) the fact that grandma loves hanging with her only grandson. Hell, you gotta take it when you can get it, that's what I say!! So, I'm hoping that he's a good boy at our friend's house tomorrow, but if he's not, I can't say I didn't warn them!

Additionally, my dad is coming to visit us tomorrow. It's been a few months since we've seen him, and we're all looking forward to the visit. There's a BIG history behind my relationship with my dad, some of which I'm sure I've delve into eventually on this bad boy blog, but for now let's just say we've had a complicated relationship, but seeing him as a grandfather has really changed a lot of my opinion about him. It all started when I was in labor. He came in the early afternoon, and stayed for a good portion of my 12 hour journey that ended in c-section. Poppa is a doctor himself, so having him there was great not only as a father, but having his input on what was going on was also great. When lil' man's heart rate was going down during contractions (probably due to not handling the pitocin very well) and none of the nurses would really let us know that things might not have been going too well, he was pretty up front. When my OB finally called the c-section, he admitted it was a good idea. However the reaction I was not ready for was the fact that he had to leave the room, because I pretty much started freaking out when the doctor said we needed a c-section. He just couldn't handle my reaction initially. But then he was absolutely awesome. He came back in, helped everybody calm me down, and then I'm pretty sure he went to the waiting room and prayed for me. You know, when a huge 6 foot 4, probably around 300 pound man breaks down, it gets to you, ya know? I was unsure about my feelings on his presence before I went into labor, but I was so happy and relieved to have him there, and I am really happy that we've been able to work through the past and have a good relationship. He's just not a touchy-feely, constantly in communication type of guy, but I KNOW that he loves me more than he can ever verbalize. And I think that pretty much sums up how I feel about him, too.

So, all in all, I'm looking forward to the weekend. It just might turn out to be a pretty great one!

Monday, February 25, 2008

When you stop seeing beauty, you start growing old

Well, I guess I should start by formally apologizing to my husband regarding the state of his face/mouth last week. His shit really was fucked! Turned out he had a cracked tooth that had abscessed and the tooth is no more. I've been married to a pirate for the last few days, but this love affair is ending tomorrow when he gets his temporary retainer-type thing.

Other than that, things are ok-ish. I had a REALLY down day on Saturday, and I honestly can't explain what the deal was with that. Jake let me sleep a whole bunch on Friday night, and even sleep in on Saturday, and then I was in a terrible funk all day on Saturday. A little bit depressed, a little bit sorry for myself, and a whole lotta just no goodness. We worked out some emotions and I talked to my mom and my main girly, and then I felt a lot better on Sunday. Hell, I even worked out!

I think that I have just been letting myself get all bottled up a bunch, and not talking about issues that I might be having. Then I just need a big ol' funk day to let it all out. It really did help, maybe that whole thing I heard on NPR recently about small bouts of depression being good for us isn't total crap after all.

Wednesday, February 20, 2008

Some sunny days you wish it were raining...

Reasons why today is a terrible, horrible, no good, very bad day:
  1. 9-month old baby WILL NOT STAY ASLEEP!!!, which leads to mommy not sleeping either
  2. Sure, they say let the baby calm himself down, but MY baby is like the freaking Energizer Bunny of wailing, and guess what, he's NOT LEARNING to calm himself down
  3. Husband out of town, single motherdom is HARD, did not sign up for and do not like!!!!
  4. Wake up late, don't want to get out of bed, see #1
  5. Baby in good mood, doesn't even apologize for waking mommy up twice during the night
  6. School zones, slow drivers, general traffic issues
  7. Arrive at work late, per my usual, and in an even worse mood than normal
  8. I'M AT WORK, clients changing minds, people not meeting deadlines, general suckiness
  9. Husband calls, says face is swollen, probably has infection and abscessed tooth (SUPER!) on the good side, he's coming home a day early from his trip
  10. Did husband remember to take his insurance card, of COURSE NOT, so goodly wife copies and faxes card to pharmacy
  11. Husband coming home and he'll be sickly and in pain, and he is the ABSOLUTE biggest baby in the world, 9-month old baby who won't sleep is tougher than him
  12. All this and I'm STILL at work
So, what a way to kick off this blog, a big list of complaints. I promise I'll try and keep the complaining to a minimum, but come on, what are blogs for if not a place to publicly sound my distaste with live, the universe and everything.